Wednesday, July 22, 2020

What 3 things do you find most attractive in a person?

I stumbled upon this question weeks ago and have been pondering it since:

What 3 things do you find most attractive in a person?

Assuming the context is romantic partners, my immediate reaction is to call out striking eyes, great hair and a resonant voice. But to be honest, if a guy was an utter jerk and had all of those things, I probably wouldn't even notice.

The physical attraction stereotype notwithstanding, attraction for me often comes down to a person's behaviour and manner, how they approach life, and how safe and comfortable I feel around them. My top 3 things go a little something like this:

Thoughtfulness

It definitely catches my eye when someone's thoughtful and considerate. They notice when something's amiss, and they make a proactive effort to contribute positively to a situation. There's no grand gesture needed to prove this. Sometimes it's as simple as acknowledging you with a hello, picking up after themselves, or listening instead of interrupting.

Self-care

I've known people who let themselves go only to have their loved ones pick up the burden of looking after them. Of course you want to take care of the people you love when they can't do it themselves, but that's very different to when a person can look after themselves but chooses not to, because they've decided it should be someone else's job. When I see someone minding their diet, fitness, mental health and personal hygiene, they always seem extra sparkly to me.

Integrity

This one's probably the most important. It's a dealbreaker if a partner doesn't strive for integrity. Even if they mess up along the way, a sincere commitment to persevering makes all the difference in the world. Love is a journey, after all, and integrity ensures you're both headed in a direction that will sustain the relationship over the long-term.

I guess these are the kinds of things I keep in mind when writing love interest characters too. After all, if the heroine is going to invest her energy in someone, they better be worth it!

Now, what about you? What are the 3 things you find most attractive in a person? Leave your thoughts in the comments. Or if you write about it on your own blog, drop me a link to your post so I can visit.

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